When love is on the rocks on the home-front, the immediate reaction many of us is to feel is the urge to go find someone new to be with. That need to find someone else can be a physical need, or it can be mental or emotional. Perhaps a combination of needs in many cases, is what leads the parties going through a breakup or divorce to consider seeking relationships with new partners. Before snapping into the reflexive way of addressing your feelings, consider what some of the potential downfalls can be of not taking some time to process the breakup as a single individual.
You are leaving a person, or perhaps a person is choosing to leave you. There is no questioning that there is going to be a void in your life and in the other person’s life for some time. Instead of filling that void with another person, consider the possible benefits of filling it with self-knowledge, enriching experiences and other positive activities. Then, after you can honestly say you’ve bounced back from the breakup as an individual and learned a lot about yourself, only then would it be right to think that you are in a position to avoid another difficult breakup like the last.
Now, also consider the new partner that you would be meeting. What does it tell them about you that you are willing to subject them to some really hard times by watching you and trying to love you as you experience such a wide range of often negative emotions? Does it not paint you as a slightly selfish person, in so far as you appear willing to gain comfort from a new person at the expense of that person?
Beyond the potential of getting off on a wrong-foot with your new partner, dating through a break-up can really strangle you as an individual. Would you not agree that the person you were prior to this last relationship is not the same person you are now? Even if you feel like you didn’t change and the other person is all to blame consider this: Don’t you want to avoid another heartbreak like the one you experienced? Without learning how you picked poorly last time or trusted too much, you’ll just repeat the same type of decision making about romance and end up in another painful bout of heartbreak. Only you can decide what is appropriate giving the details of your own personal situation. Decide wisely!